Intimate Relationships, 13 Ways To Improve Yours, Part 2

Published: 06th August 2006
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A great marriage or relationship is a FANTASTIC thing, we'd all agree. We'd also agree that a lousy marriage is awful! Since half of all marriages end in divorce, it's obvious that great relationships are hard work! So how can we "stack the deck" in favor of an AWESOME marriage? Every article in this 4 part series lists 13 ways to improve relationship intimacy! You will find the entire series in the Feature Articles Section of K-9 Outfitters, a Division of Damascus Road Enterprises.

1. Find the local "Lover's Lane" in your community and drop in some evening on your way home from a romantic dinner. (Be sure to use a breath mint after dinner). If you don't know where "Lover's Lane" is, ask any local teenager. Or you can ask a local policeman by posing as a concerned parent looking for their "wayward" teen. Trust me, some good old "passionate necking" will do your relationship intimacy a world of good.

2. Write "I Love You ____" with chalk on the sidewalk outside their office building. Then call and challenge them to find the secret message you've left for them somewhere between work and home. Have a special prize (even a candy bar, perfume, cologne, a sexy "teddy" nightie, a new CD of his favorite group, etc.) to give them if they find the message. Your relationship intimacy will benefit.

3. Read a relationship book and discuss it together. One of my favorites is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. He even has workbooks to use during your study together. (Hint: Once you discover your mate's Love Language, learn to speak their language fluently!) Some other books I highly recommend include "Five Foundations for Marriage" by Robert & Judson Cornwall; "Hidden Keys of a Loving Lasting Marriage" by Gary Smalley; "Equality and Submission in Marriage" by John C. Howell; "The Marriage Checkup" by H. Norman Wright; "Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem" by Dennis & Barbara Rainey; "Strike the Original Match" by Charles Swindoll; "Keeping Your Marriage From Burning Out" by William L. Coleman; "Love Life For Every Married Couple" by Ed Wheat; "For Better, For Worse, For Keeps" by Bob Moeller; "Growing A Healthy Marriage," Mike Yorkey, Editor; "His Needs, Her Needs" by William F. Harley, Jr.; and "The Many Loves of Marriage" by Thomas & Nanette Kinkade. You can find these and many other books on marriage and relationships in your local bookstore. This exercise will bring surprisingly greater relationship intimacy to your marriage.

4. Develop a special code for you and your spouse to use with beepers, blackberries, or cell phones, when you are thinking romantically about one another. Think relationship intimacy.

5. Try this exercise. Each of you take pen and paper and answer this question; "What do you want more of from this relationship?" Each of you list 5 things you want more of and swap lists. Write regular reminders to encourage one another, and be sure to write notes of thanks when your partner fulfills your wishes and increases your relationship intimacy.

6. Establish a weekly "Movie Night." Watch a movie about love and relationships, and discuss what you learned when it's over. Focus on how those lessons can improve your relationship intimacy.

7. Write a poem, sonnet, or song about your mate. It doesn't have to rhyme and it doesn't have to be great! It's enough that you wrote it about the one you love (be sure to use their name in the title or body of the composition). I assure you they will be duly impressed and intimacy will flourish. .

8. Make a list of the 50 (or 100) "Places I would like to be alone with you." Or it could be the places I'd like to go with you, kiss you, make love with you, or whatever you choose. To help your relationship intimacy grow even more, devise a plan of how and when you will visit these places and fulfill those fantasies!

9. Discover new and unusual places and ways to communicate "I Love You!" to your spouse. I've seen banners behind airplanes, billboard signs, paintings on water towers and underpasses, and so on. Is money an issue? OK, try these. I once made a tri-fold anniversary card for my wife by covering the cardboard from a washing machine with white table runner paper, writing a message in crayon and magic marker, and filling the inside with a year by year montage of pictures of our life together. Another time I used table runner to create a 10 foot long banner with a birthday message of love. Use your imagination and keep in mind that relationship intimacy is the goal.

10. Send a pair of oven mitts to your spouse at work, with this message attached. "I am going to be too hot to handle tonight, so wear these!" then greet them at the door wearing nothing but a smile! (First, be sure to send the kids to Grandma's for the evening!). Be careful, though, because this will not only set your relationship intimacy on fire, this behavior has been known to cause "babies."

11. Think of some of your lover's favorite things. Create an acronym of their name with each letter of their name standing for something they like to eat, do, smell, wear, hear, see, etc. Then give them each of the things represented by the acronym. Your relationship will truly become more intimate.

12. Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway to a local hotel. Rent a room with a Jacuzzi or spa. Order room service, and don't leave the room all weekend. (You can figure out the rest Hey! This is a "G" rated article). Think relationship intimacy!

13. Make a practice of asking your spouse "How's your 'Love Tank' today?" (Each of us has a love tank. It might be full, full, full, full, or empty). Naturally, the follow-up question is "What can I do to make your love tank full again?" Remember, your concern is for your spouse's intimacy needs. So wear thick skin, and gladly do whatever they need for their love tank to be full again. That's what marriage is all about!

Here is a tool for using these ideas. Go through the entire list together and rate each of the ideas. Ladies, place your numbers on the left side of each item. Gentlemen, place your ratings on the right side of each idea. Use the following rating scale:

1 = My Personal Favorites!

2 = I Would Love For You To Do This For Me!

3 = I Would Love To Do This For You!

4 = Let's Discuss This Idea Further!

5 = There Ain't No Way, Baby!

Have fun with this list of 13 ideas. The bottom line of each article in this series is really two-fold. First, I want you to learn to think of the wants, needs and desires of your spouse before you think of your own. Second, I want you to learn to have fun together again! Let your imagination run wild! Try actually doing the things listed in this article. If you will do just one activity each week from the entire series of articles, you will increase the intimacy in your relationship (at least once a week) for an entire year! You can find all the articles in this series in the Feature Articles Section of K-9 Outfitters, a Division of Damascus Road Enterprises.

Danny Presswood, 2006 All Rights Reserved.

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